That was an adorable episode and I want to live in the gifs of it forever BUUUUUT it would not be Glee if there weren’t some distinctively terrible narrative problems.

And surprise, surprise, many of them stem from Sam’s role as the great arbiter of what is good and fair and right. Because he knows. Nobody knows pain and marginalization like Sam does. Which, to be fair, shedding a light on what it’s like to be poor is completely valid, but the way he was treated in the show, as if everyone needed his absolute insight to understand that christmas isn’t right without some pain and suffering and everyone just needs to see that to finally understand that sharing is caring. Just…barf. I was side-eyeing his storyline from his first interaction with Rory (wooden acting aside), and true to form, Glee did not disappoint in keeping me in side-eye mode in all of his and Rory’s scenes. Somehow they have turned Sam from bumbling, nerdy, pretty cool and means-well dude to The Conscience of the glee clubbers who is showing them the error of their selfish ways (with his newly appointed aggresively religious sidekick Rory) and why can’t they just see the (his) light??!!1. Even when Sam was given a bit of douchebagginess when he left the auditorium in a huff, it was still framed as him just wanting to do what was right and fair and the rest of them just didn’t Get It yet. ALSO JFC WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT LINE TO QUINN ABOUT “being pretty okay” now?? OKAY, I SEE, HOW IT IS. YEAH QUINN, YOU WERE TOTALLY FUCKED UP, BUT NOW THAT SAM SEES YOU PORTIONING OUT SOME FUCKING MASHED POTATOES TO SOME UNFORTUNATE HOMELESS PEOPLE IT’S OBVIOUS YOU’RE TOTALLY OKAY NOW AND IT’S A GOOD THING HE WAS HERE TO CONVINCE YOU TO GO TO THE HOMELESS SHELTER ANYWAY BECAUSE OTHERWISE WHO KNOWS WHAT FATE MIGHT HAVE BEFALLEN YOU WITHOUT HIS GUIDANCE AND INSIGHT INTO YOUR SOUL.

The second major narrative problem I had was how Klaine was treated in regards to the story. By which I mean they weren’t in the story. Now don’t get me wrong I basically LOVED every bit of screentime they got, but let’s not turn this into something it’s not. In order for us to get “The Klaine Show,” (no matter how delicious and squee-inducing said Klaine Show was) the show had to basically turn into an AU for them to play around in as “holiday bachelors” (which, while I appreciated the humor of that line, I don’t think it was as tongue-in-cheek as the writers intended since they’re basically still doing the same thing with them, albeit in a more subtle way).

I know we get a lot of guff (and give ourselves guff too) for being so lucky that as Klaine shippers we’re completely spoiled and anything else we may want is because we’re “entitled Klaine shippers.” But here’s the thing, if you want to give an award to the couple that gets the most recognition and storylines as a couple, then that award belongs to Finchel. Two kisses and an entire legitimate story arc in an episode of disjointed songs pulled together by even more disjointed “lessons” with characterization-redundant opening and closing scenes to reinforce Sam’s (great white, beautiful, oh-so-meaningful, tears tears tears) message of helping others in the most heavy-handed way possible. (And why are they giving to the Salvation Army anyway? Don’t they know how much they kind of suck? But I guess it’s okay since the gays weren’t in that scene, and therefore don’t matter.) One can make the argument that Finchel were driving the narrative bus this episode and that’s why we got so much of them. Except ostensibly, this is an ensemble show and, judging by (what was at least trying to be) the equal airtime of the cast, this was supposed to be an ensemble episode. But in the end, whatever Klaine we got, no matter how adorable (and adorable it was!), it was just a sideline, a cutesy prop, a charming diversion, in an episode devoted to how Sam and Finn once again (with bonus Rory) Got It Right. And that is entirely frustrating. (Speaking of Finn, why did they turn what could have been one of those adorably misguided Finn moments with the star gift and turn it into one of those headdesk-y misguided Finn moments with him “always looking down on her”? Because that laces a sweet gesture with overtones of dude-knows-best once again.)

(Now if we wanna talk about a freaking canon couple who get no service as a couple, that award goes to Brittana. Who got no nuzzles or scenes this episode, just one hand hold-y moment. And even Santana’s song [which was probably going to be a prop to Finchel’s storyline anyway, what with her helping him pick out Rachel’s earrings and all] was cut entirely.)