couldbeyourlife replied to your post: I WOULD ALWAYS LET YOU PUT CHILI POWDER IN YOUR METH BB

this makes me think of jesse somehow meeting andy dwyer and idk hilarity and horror ensue and idk leslie ends up adopting jesse

[pawnee city hall courtyard. jesse is waiting for someone, bored and listless. andy walks out and sees him]

jesse: yo, what’chu looking at, bitch?

andy: nothing man, but that scar on your face is gnarly, dude.  what happened?  did you get in a fight?  was it with a turtle?  

[not seeing jesse’s incredulous look]

because one time i was at the zoo and this giant tortoise and i got in this huge fight.  well…it was less of a fight, really, and more of a one-sided stomping.  see this?

[he lifts his shirt and shows his back]

that tortoise totally took me down.  i guess that old saying is right:  the slow tortoise always gets the worm.

jesse:  yeah?  that does sound pretty gnarly dude.

andy: hey, wanna go grab some burgers?  totally my treat.

[he checks his wallet]

hold on a second, i gotta go ask leslie to spot me.