neoplastik:

ONLY 90’S KIDS WILL GET THIS: crippling debt and ceaseless unemployment

collectyourhearts:

the difference between pizza and your opinion is that i asked for pizza

pulverize:

Makes sense

a-mock-turtle:

federalists:

are you really bisexual?

Prove it, complete this bisexual obstacle course

omg can I please?

that sounds fun

Like some kind of bisexual Wipeout

jenesaispourquoi:

professorsparklepants:

Why does everyone say “house-wife” or “house-husband” when “House-spouse” is not only gender neutral, but also RHYMES?

the prof asks the important questions.

bastardlybrendan:

3000—21:

oswinses:

enjorlaas:

skuboglesby:

bilingual my ass. you’re either heterolingual or homolingual

#you’re not bilingual  #you’re confused  #stop being greedy   

#it’s just a phase #you’ll meet a nice language and settle down

#the bible says adam and eve #not hebrew and cantonese

gaybabyjail:

don’t limit yourself to panicking at the disco. panic everywhere. follow your wildest most anxious dreams

nothingman:

Whenever a comedian or performer says they aren’t going to say bitch or make jokes about rape after having their first daughter, I always imagine them running around shouting at people in the hospital “Dude I just figured out WOMEN ARE PEOPLE”

tibets:

here is a fox waiting in line for the ATM

misha-let-me-touch-your-assbutt:

flawlesstrueperfection:

you’re a 10? on the pH scale maybe

cuz u basic